so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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