she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
