So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
