If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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