the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
