Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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