That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
