It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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