There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
