We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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