Do you still have your period?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
