We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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