just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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