Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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