You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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