I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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