i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize