Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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