Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
