At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize