id be glad to
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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