Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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