do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
