you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have tasted many bathrooms
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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