its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
bring money and cleavage
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
