that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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