Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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