so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
