Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
