you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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