She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
