After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
