i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
