Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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