I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
