i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
