He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
