So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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