he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
