Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
