Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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