if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
