If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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