Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
