My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize