Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
