Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
