just come out here and I will go home with you...
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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