you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
