You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
