Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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