If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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