And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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