Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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