We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
