She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
