She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
