i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
