They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm really busy with my period
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