its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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