oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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