Ambien. No doubt about it.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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