who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Im at strip club and am horny
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize