i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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