it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
