Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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