i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
