I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You may now shotgun with the bride
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You've changed since you got that strap on
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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