similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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