there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
