Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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