ugly people sure do ruin things
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
