the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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