We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize